The Moth and the Candle

Amazing really how a single smell can send you
Back in time to a section of your life you had forgotten
Not that it was sublimated for reasons of pain
Simply that it had devolved itself from your circle of thought
But it comes back, crashing into your consciousness
Time reversed like the spools of your life on rewind
And now her face is almost in front of you
Your fingers practically resting on her soft, soft skin
On the cusp of your hearing her laughter almost clear
How long is it now since you last thought of her?

The train rattles on, not that you notice
Transfixed by these thoughts and images from your past
Brief as it was, knowing her was worthwhile
More than worthwhile, at the time it was wonderful
Full of promise and fun, good times not bad
She was someone you wanted to talk to and talk you did
Hours and hours of conversation about everything and nothing
The subject didn’t matter, the conversation did
No desire to end them, in fact desire not to
Smiling, laughing, grins and giggles
Underpinned my love

But I read too much into what was not actually there
I performed what the psychiatrists call a projection
Too much, perhaps too soon I gave and I felt
Or maybe there would never be a time for my feelings
What I thought I knew was not there to know
So finally the subject overtook the conversation
In the ranking of importance of our social affairs
What was said, it changed things, unlike before
Even small things took on increased significance
As what we had before I carefully destroyed.
So now the thing is done and some time has passed since
Enough for reflection on the errors I made
Grief has gone, regret passed and all that’s left is the question
What were they if those weren’t my halcyon days?